HAYYYYYYYY!! OK …….. I have just sat through ABC's two hour "worship fest" of the life and times of Whitney Houston.  Now, I understand I am going against the tide, as I did with my opinions of Michael Jackson's death and the subsequent 400 hour funeral, but PEOPLE enough with the high gloss retelling of Houston and her "voice of a generation."

Do I own a lot of Whitney's musical catalog?  Yes.  Do I feel she was an extremely talented singer?  Absolutely.  Do I feel that she had some incredible songs?  Without a doubt.

But again, PEOPLE!  This is was a singer who had not put out an album for over 7 something years, until 2009's I LOOK TO YOU, which I really enjoyed.  This was an actress who had not made a film since THE PREACHER'S WIFE in 1996.  This was a singer who hardly travelled out of her safe "pop/r&b style."  Why not a jazz album or an album with unknown producers?  And let's not mention the hot mess called her last tour.

As I'm sure we will be reminded again and again in the next few weeks, the music industry thought of Whitney as the iconic artist.  Artist?  Artist?  No, she was singer.  Period.  Did she write her own material [ala Mariah and Madonna]?  No.  Were her concerts and videos innovative and true artistic expressions [ala Streisand and Madonna].  No.  Was she even a true entertainer, who could dance, sing and act [ala Miss Ross, Oscar Award Nominee and now Lifetime Grammy Winner]?  No.

However, the main problem I have with the media's current love obsession regarding all things Whitney, is that these are the same reporters and performers who were trashing her a month ago.  Just as they did with Michael, the "media" forgets how they laughed at Whitney's drug problems, loss of voice, and weight gain or loss.

Like I said, HOUSTON I Have A Problem!

However, major congrats to Miss Diana Ross for receiving the Lifetime Grammy!   

Call Him Miss Ross 

HAYYYYYYY!!  Ok, I am sure it is no surprise that The Diva loves himself some drag queens!  Pageant queens, trannies, campy performers, celebrity "illusionists," whatever, I love, love, love me some drag.  So I was excited that season 4 of Rupaul's Drag Race began tonight.

Overall, the show was great, and you can see how the show's success has allowed for bigger sets, more creative challenges and more at stake for the winner [$100,000].  However, as with most competitive reality shows that focus as much on the backstage drama as the challenges [Project Runway, Design Star], "stock" characters begin to appear by the third or fourth season.

Tonight's episode introduced the main "bitch" [Willam] and her rival [Phi Phi], as well as the newcomer [Lashauwn Beyond], the funny girl [Jiggly], the model walker [Kenya], the gender bender [Sharon Needles, who I thought has been around for a much longer time], as well as the old pros [Chad Michaels and Latrice Royale].  I hope that the upcoming season makes the ladies divert from their assigned "roles."  I also hope that a big girl gets into the top three!

In other drag news, I want to Shine A Solo In The Spotlight on the first runner up of Drag Race Season 3, Miss Manila Luzon, and her new song, Hot Couture.  I actually wished that Manila had won last year because miss thang is supremely talented!  Check out the Manila's video on You Tube.  Love the glammed out bear whipping Manila's wig!  "Put the Base In My Face, Now I'm Ready For The Beat!"

Back To The Runway Back-Up Supremes!

CHMR 

HAYYYYYYYY!!  OK, OK, OK, OOOOO-Kay, if you have not paid much attention to the Atlanta Housewives this season, mainly because The Diva provides such good recaps, you have to watch the last 15 minutes of tonight's episode.

To get everyone up to speed, all of the ladies, except Kim, are going to South Africa on a safari excursion that Attorney Large & In Charge, Phaedra Parks, has planned.  However, there is only one minor problem.  Nene brings along Marlo, but does not tell Kandi, Phaedra or Sheree until they are ready to leave at the airport.  Cynthia knew that Marlo was coming, but chose not tell the others because she's Nene's "booty-licker."  Yes, their words, not mine.

Anyway, the girls survive the 400 hour flight and somehow make it to their hotel in Cape Town.  At this time, Marlo informs the group that she has been taking etiquette lessons, and will be making sure the everyone is acting properly.  Yes, "7 Mugshots Marlo" will be watching to make sure Phaedra uses the right fork and spoon.  As She By Sheree said, I did not know Emily Post had a chapter called Etiquette For Assault and Battery!

The reason I recommend watching the final 15 minutes, is so that you can actually experience the the explosion known as Sheree versus Marlo!

The fight stems from the fact that Sheree mentions at breakfast she has been invited to a dinner party by a old friend who lives in Cape Town.  Assuming that Cynthia was stuck to Nene's hip [and not knowing that Marlo was on safari], Sheree stated that only Kandi and Phaedra would be joining her.

As the day progresses into night and Marlo remarks on everyone's manners, the upcoming dinner party hangs in the air.  Just as Sheree, Kandi and Phaedra are about to leave, Cynthia stops by to tell the ladies she will see them later.  Sheree tells Cynthia that she can come to the party, but Nene and Marlo are not invited.  Cynthia says she will have to think about the offer and practically leaps over to Marlo's room, with Nene in attendance, to talk about this "snub."  Marlo goes to confront Sheree about her not being invited.  Totally caught by surprise, Sheree says, "you can come to the party."  Marlo says Sheree is fake …….. and then all hell brakes loose!

Sheree and Marlo start yelling insults at each other so quickly that you can not understand what they are saying.  After repeated viewings, this is what The Diva picked up:  Sheree told Marlo she did not have her own money and the home she lives in was bought by the 80 year old white man she was dating.  Marlo brought up Sheree's repo'd Astin-Martin and the fact that Chateau She By Sheree still has not been built.  And Marlo mentioned that while Sheree and her kids were sleeping on mattresses on the floor [good one!], she had a four poster bed!

This was truly the fight we have been waiting weeks to see!  Nene tries to stop the yelling, Cynthia acts completely stupid ["If I had known a fight was going to happen, I would have never told Marlo" - Yeah, drink your juice Shelby], and the entire time, Phaedra continues to powder her face.

And we've only been in South Africa for one day! 

Until Next Week Back-Up Supremes!

CHMR! 

Haaaayyyy Backup Supremes!!  Welcome back from Winter Break 2011-2012!!  Let's get into the groove with tonight's snooze-o-rama episode of Atlanta's Housewives.

Honestly, and why would I lie about the Housewives, not much happened.  However, Phaedra did leave us with some zingers, but more on that later.

A majority of the episode was devoted to Cynthia and Papa Smurf trying to keep their one year marriage going.  They talked about their problems at the Salsa lesson, and later with the minister who officiated their Barnum and Bailey wedding.  Um, aren't these individuals are trying to get new businesses off the ground .. who's minding the store? 

Kandi met up with JoDee Messina so that they can start writing songs together.  Kandi believes that her brand of man-bashing, no scrubs music will do well with the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill crowd.

Kim is still unpacking all the boxes in her RENTED dream home.  While bratty Brielle texted and made snotty comments, Kim began unboxing her Versace china.  Yes, her 1990's, new money with no brain, looking like something even Tamar Braxton would call sad, Versace china.  Will Kroy, Kim and family actually be eating off of this china?  Stop in the name of we live in a $8,000 a month rented house that is beginning to look like a showroom at Rooms To Go!

And speaking of tasteless fake, Nene and Marlo finally met up for drinks.  During their conversation, Marlo casually mentions that she has been arrested SEVEN times, but only five of those were for parole violations!  [Thank goodness!  Did this little fact escape Bravo's employment background check?]  When Nene tries to obtain additional information, Miss Marlo would only state that she got into a fight with a girl at a club.  Later on, Nene attends one of the fakest of fake jewelry parties, which is trying to raise money for the environment.  One woman was trying to explain to Nene how her jewelry was influenced by the Dali Lama.  Well, the woman could have said Dairy Queen and Nene would have not known the difference.

She By Sheree and her t-shirt only appears briefly, and that is to introduce Kim to the wonders of juicing and yoga.

But at the end of the snooz-o-rama, there is alarm clock glowing brightly in the distance, Miss Phaedra and the preparations for her new business venture, Fantasy Funerals!  According to Attorney At Large Parks, these will be "funerals worth dying for .. let's throw them in the ground with a bang!"  Throughout the episode, the viewer is on pins and needles, wondering if Apollo will join the family business.  Ultimately he agrees to serve as the funeral home counselor [as if he had any choice].  As Phaedra states in the end, "we gonna put the boom in the tomb!"

See You Next Week Backup Supremes!

Call Him Miss Ross! 

HAYYYYYYYY!!  OK, tonight Bravo decided to show a "special Tuesday night episode" of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.  I'm not sure why they didn't just replace Sunday's useless show with tonight's low impact drama.  Besides, whenever I hear the description "special episode," I'm positive that Blair from The Facts Of Life will start drinking, while Punky Brewster has to learn that being an adult can be just as hard.  Does anyone else remember those "very special" sitcom episodes where ultimately somebody had to learn some tired old lesson in 22 minutes?  Almost as good as the "special Christmas" episodes!  But I digress ……..

She By Sheree was the star of tonight's episode, or more importantly, my questions about Sheree's financial status.  But first, we had to see Kim bring home Baby Kroy, only to find that her 14 year old looking 28 daughter, Brielle, has decided to turn up the volume on teenage brat 2011.  Brielle is rude to everyone, however, I believe that Bravo is training her to be the next housewife!  She was given her own confessions moment with the camera!  Can anyone say All About Eve?

Let's see, Cynthia and Nene were seen shopping, while Kandi was shown hosting her internet sex talk show.  Bravo, give us a break already!

Therefore, back to the owner of the dirt mound known as Chateau She By Sheree and my questions:

1. Sheree and her son [where is the young daughter] were shown living in a half way furnished apartment.  Why??  On the previous episode, the son was shown playing a video game, but now the tv is missing?  And when the son goes into his room, the mattress is on the floor?

2. Sheree has decided to ask Attorney Large and in Charge Phaedra to go after Bob for the child support.  She shows up driving a Porsche, and states this is her new car??  If you can afford a Porsche, why do you need child support?

3. Since Sheree's case may be a little more involved that simply throwing the ex in jail, Phaedra states that she will have to bill Sheree, but at her reduced rate of $5000!!  Then Phaedra's staff has to chase Sheree all over Atlanta to get the payment.  Maybe Sheree thought Phaedra was going to come down to her car, so she could pull some money out of an envelope [see my recap of episode #6 for details]. 

4. When Sheree and Phaedra finally meet Bob in court, the ex-husband [who is representing himself!] brings a contempt of court motion on Sheree due to furniture he claims she stole.

Sheree's financial situation is more confusing than Teresa of New Jersey!  Who do I have to call for an audit?

Call Him Miss Ross! 

HAYYYYYYYY!!  OK …….. Fair readers, tonight's episode of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta continued to reveal why Miss Phaedra Parks needs her own talk show.  As with my obsession with New Jersey's Milania, Phaedra continues to bring me joy.  But onto the highlights:

Andy Cohen and Bravo are preparing us for a BIG blow up in Cynthia's family.  Both Cynthia and Peter are trying to start their own businesses, however, Peter is having some investor problems, to the tune of a $40,000 bounced check!  Does anybody remember something called a cashier's check??  Cynthia's sister, Malorie, knows that Peter will soon be asking Cynthia for money.

Another event that Bravo is prepping us, is the arrival of Kim and Kroy's baby!  However, is it just me, or does anybody else question why Kim, who has had two daughters and was supposedly a nurse, had to hire a "baby consultant," so that she could learn how to change a boy's diapers?  Am I missing something here?

Lady Attorney Large And In Charge, Miss Phaedra, went with She By Sheree to check on the construction of Chateau She By Sheree, which was just a plot of dirt.  Sheree is not happy and wants to move in by Christmas.  Lady Attorney gives subtle hints that the contractor might be meeting her in court if the Chateau is not finished on schedule.  And I quote, "Everybody knows that a builder will tell you anything to get the check.  They will blow smoke up your butt with a bubble blower if they have to."

In case anybody was wondering, She By Sheree treated us to two torn t-shirt Flashdance outfits!

Tonight's episode of Academy Award winning drama was topped off by Kandi's 35th birthday par-tay!  Sheree, Phaedra and Kandi were on one side, while Nene [yes she did actually say "I just enter and my prescense takes over the room"], Cynthia and Peter stayed on the other side.  Phaedra hires a "gifted" stripped who causes Kandi's Mom, Nene and Cynthia to leave the festivities.

Other quotable quips from our favorite Lady Attorney:

"Crazy as a vampire in the sunlight!" 

"Having a nice donkey boo-tay, is like having a carrot and dangling it in front of a horse."

When looking at the ensemble Miss Lawrence threw together to wear to Kandi's birthday par-tay, Phaedra remarks, "he looks like Mr. T dipped in Wonder Woman!  A Southern super hero!"

And my personal favorite:

"I never leave home without my taser, .. they better be glad I left the 357 in the car!" 

Milania be warned, somebody is stealing my heart!

Call Him Miss Ross! 

HAYYYYYYYY!!  OK …….. The third episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta was one large platter of crazy, with an extra basket of crescent rolls .. and I am truly thankful.

Let's just start with She By Sheree, who is begun to enter Nene's world of delusion.  She's building an 8,000 square foot house in "one of the most desirable neighborhoods in Atlanta?"  Where exactly are you talking about Sheree?  And this house, which she dubs "Chateau Sheree," will come with a gym, massage area, a dj, and a skating rink for the kids.  By the time the "Chateau" is built, those kids will be gone.

But more importantly, where is the money to build this casa?  And does anyone else find it a little strange, that Sheree is always wearing some version of that Flashdance chick's one shoulder lycra top with leggings?  She only changes out the tops .. white to meet Kim for lunch, grey or was it green for the contractor, yellow for the baby shower.

But poor Sheree can not be referred to as strange, when compared to the deliciousness known as Miss Phaedra!

Before I continue, is it just me, or does everyone think that these ladies google themselves at least 15 times a day?  They may not see each other for months, but everyone seemed to have the read about Apollo's police incident through the blogs [speaking of which - wonder if they ever read mine ].  One additional note, my favorite lady of laughter, Kathy Griffin, has stated that she can't wait to die, so that Phaedra can plan her funeral!

Back to the strange .. Apollo was stopped by the police, told to get out of his car, and pulled to the ground, all because of mistaken identity?  And when Kandi started asking questions, Phaedra did not want to talk?

Even stranger than that .. I just realized that Cynthia's baby daddy is Leon, THE LEON, who was in Madonna's "Like A Prayer" video.  Cynthia are you crazy??

But after making us experience one episode where Nene did not read someone like last week's People magazine, Bravo decides to unveil Kim Crazy 2.0!

Who has a FIVE HOUR baby shower?  The assembled crowd did not look like the type to participate in baby games. 

The supposedly new home in Roswell with 17,000 square feet!

The "artistic" photos at the baby shower!  My favorite was Kim, Kroy and the two girls, while Kim is wearing a bikini top and belly for days!

Kim's father trying to hard sell Phaedra on his legal "services."  I never understood what he was trying to sell .. did he want to be Phaedra's legal secretary?

Then we came to the blow up between Apollo and Peter .. that wasn't.  I DVR'd this episode and re-watched the blow up several times.  These men never really said anything!  "You got a problem? No I don't have a problem.  Do you have a problem" back and forth!

Atlanta Housewives – A HUGE THANKS!

Call Him Miss Ross 

HAYYYYY .. Ok, so I first thought last night’s episode was going to be a snoozer-loozer until we got to Kim’s birthday par-tay, but more on that in a moment.  For those who might want to fast forward, here is what happened in the first 40 minutes:

1.  Kandi, Nene and Cynthia [who is such a Nene suck up, it’s sickening] went to Miami, where they supposedly did not know it was Lesbian festival weekend.  RIIIIIIGHT!!  Nene repeatedly tells both ladies that she is RICH, RICH, RICH, so RICH that she looks into purchasing a $9 Mil dollar home in Miami.  Both Kandi and myself question Nene’s wealth since she still rents in Atlanta and the divorce from Greg is not complete.  To quote Miss Conjunction Junction, what is your function this season She By Sheree, “as fast as Nene can go up, she can come back down .. just like a stripper pole!”

2.  Besides telling everyone her financial status, Nene’s new catch phrase is “HATERS!”  Bye Haters, Love Haters, She currently lives in Atlanta, aka to Nene, HATERVILLE!

3.  Phaedra continues her quest to be Queen of the Dead.  When the owner of the funeral service mentions her mini skirt and the need to be dressed more appropriately, Phaedra just whips out her holy water and prayer cloth in order to cover her “luscious thighs” .. her words, I swear.  You can tell Ms. Parks really has the funeral business in her blood, or as she said last night, “I’m an expert at comforting someone in their time of need, especially if they have an insurance policy!”  Bless this woman of mercy!

4.  Sheree and about to pop Kim, who are now friends [????], meet at Stoney River, a restaurant less than 5 minutes from where I live!!  Of course we are reminded that Kim has to pee every hour on the hour – because she is the only woman in history to ever have a baby!

As I mentioned above, not much going on until we get to Kim’s surprise birthday par-tay [she now claims to be 33].  Attending the par-tay is Kandi, Sheree, and Phaedra, three woman who were not too favorable to Kim last season.  As I hinted last week, all four ladies read Nene and Cynthia.  They talk about Nene’s new wealth, and that Cynthia has no backbone.  Kandi has the nerve to say that she does not like to join in on the comments, but will laugh if somebody says something funny about Nene.

Next week .. Kim and Kroy’s baby shower, where a “fight” breaks out between Phaedra and Cynthia’s husbands!  HMMMM, Bravo, where have we seen this before?

Call Him Miss Ross!

HAYYYYYYY .. Call Him Miss Ross is back and so are my beloved Real Housewives of Atlanta!  Sooooooo, without further delay, here are my thoughts regarding the Season 4 premiere:

CYNTHIA has discovered the world of bangs [no longer that twelve inch forehead], while PHAEDRA has discovered the world of WTH?? necklaces.  Seriously, what was with that piece she wore to the funeral home?

Was anyone else confused about KIM'S living situation?  During the first part of the show, she talks about moving in with Kroy, and they show Mr. Man [her Mr. Man, not my pug, Roscoe ] moving all of her stored furniture into a moving van.  However, later in the show, KIM and family [minus Kroy], are shown inside the townhouse she's lived in for the past three seasons.  What happened to the dreamhome?  And don't you love that although we are four seasons into this show, and she is pregnant with Kroy's baby, KIM still has to bring up Big Poppa!!

A note for KANDI and BRAVO TV, stop trying to make KANDI'S interest in the sex toy industry a part of the storyline.  It's sounds stupid, fake, but most of all, BORING!!  KANDI, you are a Grammy Award winner, who has written several hit songs .. focus on that!

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that BRAVO TV and LOGO use the same set when they show one of their Housewives or A-Listers trying to record a song.  When SHE BY SHEREE met up with MISS LAWRENCE, I kept thinking, that is the same recording studio THE A-LIST used to show NYASHA recording her song.  And on a sad, sad side note, I am obsessed about LOGO's THE A-LIST DALLAS!

My prediction for this season of Atlanta Housewives – Everyone will hate NENE!  For the past few seasons, KIM has been the one the others have had issues.  No more!  Just like Jersey has turned on Teresa Guidice, NENE will be the one to read like a checkout copy of the National Enquirer.

And what is with these "appearances" that SHEREE is supposedly making to "events and uptown parties."  What is the point?  Does she give her views on world piece or how to solve Occupy Wall Street?  Wonder if I can hire her for my Christmas par-tay?

Great beginning for an interesting season, still loving MISS PHAEDRA!!

Call Him Miss Ross! 

HAAAAYYYY!!  OK …….. After a long week of studying and test taking, CALL HIM MISS ROSS decided to hit the 2011 Gwinnett County Fair last night with I'M JUST SAYING and POWER TRAMP.  What a true hoot and a hollar!

Before I go dear readers, yes, I know that the photos are all jacked up.  I do not know why.  Just tilt your head a little!  :) And yes, I actually rode that big ol' Ferris Wheel!

Anyway, back to the fair, which can be best summed up in these immortal words by I'M JUST SAYING – "there are a lot of pre-teens here who are having pre-marital sex."  Truer words have never been spoken!

As I walked with the ladies through the live stock, carnival games, and rides which you hope were put together with all of the correct pieces, I began to ponder the mysteries of such of a happening – all the while gobblin' down a jumbo corn dog, nachos, one deep fried oreo, a pretzel AND some cotton candy! 

Question .. Is the 2011 trend in carnival wear for teens also known as Hookers-R-US?

Question .. what did everyone do 15 years ago when no one had smart phones in which to text or Facebook every three seconds?  Did they actually talk to each other?

Question .. There are some pretty "interesting" people at the fair .. do they really live in Georgia?  Are these people really my neighbors?

Question .. $5 admission for adults, $2 admission for children, then at least $5 PER PERSON for EACH RIDE, plus food, drinks, games, etc.  How are these families affording this?  Six Flags is cheaper in the long run.

Question .. last night was the Miss Gwinnett County Pageant.  Why were there only 50 or so people in attendance?

Question .. Haven't these fair people ever heard of crown control?  The lines for the popular rides would stretch on forever! 

Question .. isn't this a fabulous picture of POWER TRAMP jumping around on one of those bungee "thing-ees," which coincedentally was also named POWER TRAMP! 

 But a more important question is, how incredibly fantastic is this hat I had spray painted?

Great night with great friends!

Call Him Miss Ross!