HAYYYYYYYY!!  My first official movie night with the Hackberrys and Company was a great success!  The ladies brought appetizers, utensils and desserts, while Mr. Roscoe and I provided the pizza and drinks.

To kick off what I hope will be a growing trend of movie nights at Wood-De-Haven, I chose one of my top 5 favorite films of all time.  The one that reeks of camp, smut, glamour, incredible gowns, bad lyp synching, terrible dialogue and fantastic hair .. in other words, everything that is Call Him Miss Ross .. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS!  I love, love and one more time, love this film.  And even though I have the seen this monstrosity more times than allowed by the law [and know the dialogue], it was a great thrill exposing it the Hackberrys, since only one or two actually saw the film years ago.

Thank you ladies for a laughter filled night!  And remember, "Lawrenceville will be there forever!" 

Call Him Miss Ross! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. this weekend started off with a bang, as the Hackberrys and I threw a surprise early birthday dinner for Miss Gina at Ichiban Japanese Steakhouse on Friday night.  Miss G was more than surprised – I made her walk through the parking lot and into the restaurant blind folded, while carrying a big balloon with the writing, "Happy Birthday Princess!"  The food was especially good.  I was loving me some of that ginger salad dressing and fried rice.  The food, the conversation, and the friendship from my beloved Hackberrys [which also included Lady Di and her magazine editor in training niece, Amy] was absolutely what I needed after a particularly interesting week.

For the past few months, I have been amazed at the freedom various individuals feel they have to say whatever comes in their mind about me.  At times these comments are made as indirect jokes, while some are very in my face.  I'm too sensitive, I'm too strange, I'm too weird, I'm too obsessive, I'm too loud, I'm too gay, why am I wearing this, why am I wearing that, …….. you get the point.  Oh, and let's not forget the growing army of public opinion who feel they have every right to make negative comments regarding my weight, exercise routine and apparently blob like appearance!  I actually had two different individuals call me overweight / fat to me face.

If you've ever read my blog, you know that CALL HIM MISS ROSS has the wit of a drag queen and can read like a New York Times best seller, however, most of the time, I just keep my mouth shut.  Why, I do not really know.  Maybe because I don't care, maybe because I would be fighting fire with fire, or maybe because I am truly amazed that someone could say something and not think how it might make another person feel.  You know, I can talk trash about reality tv show stars, pop stars and "celebrities,"  but I hope I am more human beneath the brightly lit, but still underground catwalk.  And if that makes me too sensitive, or too loud, or too fat or too gay .. then let me quote one of my new mantras, created by the fantastic queen, Erickatoure Aviance:

"Miss Thing green is not your color, so stop sipping on that hater ray; I know that I'm fierce, I know that I'm fly, so BITCH get out my way!" 

And while I will continue to live my life in a fully non-normal way, I look forward to many more parties, weekend get-aways, Friday night dinners and late night trips to Target with my true and accepting divas .. The Hackberrys and Lady Di!

Ohhhhhhhh, I can't forget ……..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS GINA! 

Love. Mr. Roscoe! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. After way too long of a "blog break"  Call Him Miss Ross and The Dog And The Diva are back up and talking trash about something!  I can just hear my three faithful readers cheer!

As you possibly can tell, the diva has been vacationing during the break.  I was fortunate enough to take an 8 day Carnival cruise down to Cabo, Panama, and somewhere else south of America.  To be honest I LOVE cruising, but I'm not a big fan of actually getting off of the boat.  I would much rather find a nice beach chair at the back of the boat, read, eat, read, feed the face more and then walk around thinking I'm Kathie Lee Gifford singing, "…….. in the morning, in the evening, ain't we got fun!"  Does anyone remember when ol' Kathy was the Carnival spokesperson?

Anyway, the only excursion I went on, was a tour through the Panama Canal.  Very, very interesting history lesson thanks to our tour guide.  But hot!  As Miss Gina would might say, "over 400+ degrees."  I'm still not sure why Carter let that potential money maker slip away.

So yes, the diva had a great and most importantly, RELAXING, time.  And I have to say, DAMN!, there was some major DILF scenery on this boat – especially at the dinner table next to ours!

OK …….. onto other things besides the fact that two Central American dictators wanted little ol me to be their countries First Diva!  Is anyone obsessed about The Real Housewives of New Jersey like I am?  

If you've read my previous entries, you know Mama Anne and myself love us some Real Housewives, while non cultured individuals such as Miss Gina can't appreciate true art.  I love the New York ladies, I love the Atlanta ladies, and I'm sure I will love the DC women, but drag queen, the New Jersey divas take this show to a new level! Children of the women sending threatening texts, bankruptcies, faux fashion shows, this show is the new Dynasty!  Hands down loving me some crazy Teresa!  To quote one of my other obsessions, Kathy Griffin, "that b***h be crazy!"

If anyone is still reading THANK YOU!  I'm Back!

Today In Diana Ross History – 7-11-1964 [actually yesterday]:

The Supremes release "Where Did Our Love Go," which eventually spends two weeks at #1 on both the Hot 100 and Hot R&B charts. "Where" is the first of twelve number one songs that Miss Ross and the Supremes release between 1964 to 1969.  PEOPLE!  Twelve in 5 years!

"Through the mirror of my mind, time after time …….." 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. Maybe it was because my brother and sister in law [HAYYYYY B & S!!] joined the ladies and myself for trivia tonight, or maybe it was because the questions were a little easier, OR maybe it was because I was wearing my DIANA ROSS concert t-shirt, but somehow, someway, the Hackberry's won first place again!!  Countess Gina and I both agree that the end of civilization must be soon for the Hackberrys to win two weeks in a row!  And doesn't the shirt make you want to just gag – in a good way?!?!

As I've mentioned before, if you live near Duluth, GA, and want to eat at a good pub/grill, check out the Red Rabbit [www.redrabbitpub.com].  Tell the manager Justin hello!

OK …….. I am still feeling the magic of last night's concert!  I have been listening to Miss Ross all day long [which I actually do every day] and just keep thinking, "oh when she did this, when she did that …….."  PEOPLE!  That voice!!

Bring It To The Runway! 

IT DID NOT RAIN!!  NO RAIN BEFORE, DURING OR AFTER THE CONCERT!!  Thank you everyone for your prayers and good thoughts.  And thank you GOD for no rain!!  Now back to our regularly scheduled program ……..

PEOPLE!!  Heaven is missing an angel tonight!  Her name is Miss Diana Ross and she showed the people at Atlanta's Chastain Park Ampitheatre the power of a true entertainer.  To steal a phrase from drag legend and Ross fan Kevin Aviance, "her concert left me gagging girl!"

Lady Di and myself arrived at Chastain after 6:00.  The park did not open until 7:00, so we stood and talked in the parking lot.  After getting inside and setting up dinner, I headed off to check out the tour merchandise.  T-shirts, programs, key chains, tote bags, etc.  By the time I was thinking of asking for an emergency back loan, I had bought 2 t-shirts, a program and a key chain!

After I ate and waited for the show to begin, I started talking to a great group of guys seated behind our row.  I warned them that I would soon be dancing and acting like a fool.  This seem to encourage their screams of "work Paul" during the actual concert.  In addition, the guy sitting next to Lady Di and myself was a longtime fan, who had seen Miss Ross at the old Omni and the Fox in Atlanta.  He showed me a picture taken with Mary Wilson, and described meeting one of Diana's sisters.

Around 8:00 pm, there was a great deal of commotion and finger pointing.  MO'NIQUE was at the concert with her bodyguards and whoever else.  MO "just won an Oscar" 'NIQUE was seated at the tables near the front of stage.

Sometime between 8:45 pm and 8:50 pm the music and videos began.  There were pictures from the 60's through today, finally asking the question, "are you ready?"  Then BAM!  The music begins for THE BOSS and she rises from the rear stage floor.  Voice is incredible!  Dress is incredible!  Hair is full on Miss Ross!  I am losing my mind!

From THE BOSS. she goes into MORE TODAY THAN YESTERDAY, and then into her Supremes' songs.  After REFLECTIONS [where the monitor shows pictures of the Supremes], YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE, and STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE, she performed IT'S HARD FOR ME TO SAY from the Red Hot Rhythm and Blues album.  While she sang, images of Motown's various artists flashed in the background.  This was special to me, as if Diana was trying to state what these talented individuals meant to her life.

YOU KEEP ME HANGING ON and a damn fantastic LOVE CHILD, were followed by a costume change and I'M COMING OUT and UPSIDE DOWN.  Now readers, you know the DIVA [me, not the Lady], I had to "work that runway" for the children.  The guys behind us were screaming!  My booty was allowed to take a breather during IT'S MY HOUSE, and a slower and jazzier version TOUCH ME IN THE MORNING.

Then since I had already lost my mind, I lost my breakfast, lunch and dinner, because she performed a medley of LOVE HANGOVER, TAKE ME HIGHER [I love, love, love TAKE ME HIGHER] and EASE ON DOWN THE ROAD.  I worked the runway for Paris, Milan and the Sears catalogue!

Another costume change, and she performed THE LOOK OF LOVE and DON'T EXPLAIN.  My only complaint about the concert, was that during these songs, PEOPLE WOULD NOT SHUT UP!!  How can you talk when someone like Miss Ross is singing her heart out on DON'T EXPLAIN, which by the way, was beyond words!  My favorite "overheard" comment during this time was, "she's using real musicians, not some digital crap Beyonce!"

ENDLESS LOVE, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO and AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH [now you know I acted like a complete fool] were performed, which caused my new Supreme friend and I to ask if the show was coming to a close.  I don't think so!  We were treated to 3 encores!!

I WILL SURVIVE, then MISSING YOU mixed into YOU ARE NOT ALONE [during this encore, she talked about becoming a grandmommy, and how she dedicated this tour to Micheal Jackson], and finally, REACH OUT AND TOUCH!

Out of touch diva?  Aging star with a faltering voice?  A singer just going through the motions?  I've read these reviews from other cities, but that is not the same woman who I saw tonight.  You can feel Diana, and you know that she does care about her audiences.  And that voice!  It only gets better with age.

About an hour and forty five minutes later, the concert was over.  

I want to thank the incredible Lady Di [pictured above with her new saucy hairdo] for attending the concert.  Thank you for putting up with all of my dancing and constant information on who was who during the videos.

Miss Ross brought it to the runway tonight! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. It was a fun filled Saturday night for the Diva and the incredible Hackberrys!.  We started the night at The Red Rabbit Pub [www.redrabbitpub.com], since our usual hangout, Vics, had to close last week.  However, the Rabbit decided to take a chance on Vic's regulars and started their own Saturday night trivia with host Ron.  And for the first time since the Hacks and I started attending trivia in March, WE CAME IN FIRST PLACE!!  Thanks to some "know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em" advice from Lady Diana, the ladies and I actually came in first place and won a $30.00 gift certificate.

After a quick ice cream stop at Brusters, and empowered by our trivia win, the singles ladies and gentleman of Duluth decided to venture into the town fair / amusement park / carnival that had sprung up at the local strip mall parking lot.  Now dear readers, this is not the idyllic county fair that one might imagine the Walton's attending every year.  No, this is the one with the crickety rides, operated by an individual standing next to a box that reads "ride parts."  We are not talking about Disneyland here.

While Mama Peggy, Mama Anne, Queen Cindy [Who thinks that I don't like her to play trivia with us.  This is not the case.  I just don't think we need to share our answers with the rest of the class.  Love me some Queen Cindy!], Countess Gina and myself walked around enjoying the lights and sounds, as well as discussing which ride would cause us to lose our dinner the fastest, Lady Di was on a mission.  She was going to win some stuffed animals and she was going to ride the ferris wheel.  The same ferris wheel which I swore had been missing a few buckets earlier in the week.

Successful in her attempts to win two stuffed animals, Diana headed off to buy her ticket to the ferris wheel.  Halfway there, she turns and says, "who is going to join me?"  Now was the time for the brave, the fearless and the strong to step up and join our friend is her quest.  Turns out, only Gina would win that medal, because Anne, Peggy, Cindy and I stood looking straight ahead, with an expression that said, "now I know she ain't talking to me."  Hats off to Diana and Gina [pictured above as the ride was about to start].  Of course Cindy did not help calm anyone's nerves by yelling for operator to "make it go faster!"  A great night with the dynamic Hackberrys!

Ok, it is only 4 days until Miss Ross graces the stage at the Chastain Park Ampitheatre.  The reviews for her "More Today Than Yesterday" tour have been wonderful, with performances of the big hits ["Upside Down," "Stop!"] as well as her classic interpretations ["Don't Explain"].  Fortunately, the best OR nurse in Atlanta, Lady Diana has agreed to be my date for the big night.

Now readers, I need all the prayers, well wishes, payments to weather men, whatever, that there is no rain during the concert.  Atlanta experienced heavy rain this past Friday, and the news is predicting on again / off again showers throughout the week.  Chastain is an open ampitheatre, and while heaven knows I will stand in the rain for THE LADY, but she may not perform in a downpour.  So any and all thoughts for good weather will be appreciated!

"Success is nothing without someone to share it with" – Billy Dee Williams in MAHOGANY 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. Had a FANTASTIC day today and wanted to share!  At 9:30 this morning, Mama Peggy, Mama Anne, Countess Gina and myself headed out for a day roadtrip to Harrahs Casino in Cherokee, North Carolina.  I need to state that the ladies will tell anyone who asks, that we were actually supposed to leave at 9:00am, but that is a little too early for the diva on a Saturday morning.  Anyway, at 9:30 am, we started off ……..

Approximately an hour and a half into our 3 hour drive, Gina spotted a piece of Georgia country heaven, the "Goats On The Roof" Village in Rabun County, GA [www.goats-in-the-roof.com].  "Goats" is a three building "attraction" where actual live goats walk, eat and sleep on the roof.  Visitors, such as Gina pictured above, can feed the goats through trolleys that carry up some type of animal food.  This place is too much of a hot mess to miss!  And what attraction could call itself worthwhile to get your inner Tammy Wynette on, than to have not one but two gift shops!  Actually the shops were nicer than most of the American Indian/Bear/Rebel Yell stores you see up and down the highway.  I have never seen Gina so excited as when we pulled into "Goats."  

After our 15-20 minute gander, we headed back out onto the highway and made it into Cherokee about 12:30-1:00 pm.  First order of business – FOOD!  Mama Peggy had been telling us about Peter's Pancakes and Waffles.  The ladies had pancakes, which looked good, while I settled for a waffle with country ham.  DAMN that stuff was good!  However, even though our bellies were full, there was no time for a nap, the casino was calling.

Recession?  What recession?  Harrahs Casino at Cherokee was packed!  For the next couple of hours, the fantastic four worked penny slots, two cent slots, quarter slots and $1.00 machines.  I have to admit that Mama Anne and myself were able to win a little $$!!  We had the most fun trying to figure out the penny and two cent slots.  Bet 5 lines with two chances??  How about just normal quarter or dollar slots?

After a few hours and wise decisions to not gamble any additional money, we got back on the road.  Hunger was calling and we found ourselves at The Dillard House in Dillard, GA [www.dillardhouse.com].  A pre-set menu, served "family style," was beyond good.  Fried chicken, roast beef, salt cured country ham [love me some country ham, despite what Mama Peggy says] and buttermilk pie so good that you want to slap your mama for not making it before!

After the goats, casino, and food, food and more food, what else could the Hackberrys and one Diva possibly do in one day?  Why get off the highway for a view of The Tallulah Gorge in Tallulah Falls, Georgia!  The gorge, pictured above, is a 1000 feet chasm that was carved by the Tallulah River.  One of the Flying Wallendas actually crossed this gorge on highwire – a feat that Mama Anne saw in person!

A huge shout out of thanks to Mama Peggy, Mama Anne and Countess Gina for such a fun day!

TWELVE MORE DAYS UNTIL DIANA ROSS!!

"Bring that hot mess to the runway!" 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. been a busy, busy Saturday!  Today was the 2010 Walk for Lupus, held at Piedmont Park in Atlanta.  Pictured above is yours diva truly, along with my friend Jennifer [aka "Jenifay"].  We were both walking for TEAM JT!  Last month, Jennifer and I held a bake sale, with all the proceeds going to the walk.  

The weather and the atmosphere at the park were GREAT!  We arrived around 2:00 pm, had lunch, walked around the booths and then headed off on the walk at 5:00 pm.  Up until this month, Atlanta's walk was the largest in the country.  But apparently, New York and DC haved edged ahead of us …….. but not for long!  Way to go TEAM JT!!

After the walk, I went home, took a quick shower, and then headed off with Queen Cindy and Countess Gina to celebrate Lady Di of Darby's birthday!  I told Di to work a pose for me ["Covergirl! Put the Base In Your Walk"] and look at the incredible result above.  To one of the great medical professionals, Happy #25 Di!  And remember, you have Good Hair!

OK, call me a cheap pop culture diva who likes pure trash .. and I will answer!  YES, I actually bought and have been constantly listening to New York Housewife, Countess LuAnn's song, "Money Can't Buy You Class!"  PEOPLE!  This song is just plain bad, but I still love it!  While it does not have the catchy chorus of Kim Zolciak's "Tardy For The Party," [and Kim is still riding the gravy train on that song], the lyrics are done in a sing songy rap that makes it an instant drag classic!  

The reviews on i-tunes were all horrible, but you want to say PEOPLE! what did you expect?  This is just a drag bitch track over a so-so beat.  I am so loving this hot mess of a song!  Bring It To The Runway LuAnn!

Finally, and I know that I will stand alone in my opinion but, I was not that impressed with Betty White's big appearance on SNL.  I don't think Betty was the problem.  Just the water logged writing.

It's Showtime Synergy! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK, readers just go ahead and say what is on your mind, "that is one big ******* oil spill!!"  No, what you are really thinking is what an incredible hot mess of a hat Call Him Miss Ross has on his head.  Did CHMR actually attend the Kentucky Derby?  Because how could CNN, FOX, and ESPN miss such a work of art?  Since this blog is all about honesty, the credit and hat has to go to the incredibly talented Lady Di of Darby Way.  While myself and the Hackberrys were tackling Saturday night pizza and trivia, Lady Di attended a Derby party with this hat.  But she knew the hat was meant to be shared with another diva!  Thank you DI!!  Love the hat, love the picture and always remember, "you have GOOD HAIR!"

And speaking of Saturday night pizza and trivia, the Hackberrys [Mama Anne, Mama Peggy and HRH Gina] and I actually came in second place.  We may have felt like Nancy Kerrigan, but we still received a $15 gift certificate.  Besides, I think we were the only team that knew the answer to, "in the 1980's, who had a number one hit with the song Let's Get Serious?"  PEOPLE!!  Jermaine Jackson!  His only number one hit without the brothers.  A true Miss Ross fan will know the Jacksons!

And speaking of Miss Diana Ross — I have tickets for her June 4th concert in Atlanta.  33 DAYS!!

Sing Out Louise! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I want to first send a HUGE birthday shout out my diva, my inspiration, and a "legend in her own time" …….. One Woman, One Voice, MISS DIANA ROSS!!  I know that I am technically a day late, since her birthday was yesterday, 3/26/2010, but I already put up a birthday posting on FB.  Happy Birthday Miss Ross!  I am so ready for you to visit Atlanta on 6/4/2010!  By the way, the term "legend in her own time" is not something I made up, but a recent compliment given to the lady by Miss Patti Labelle.

As part of the birthday celebration, the Hackberry's plus 3 renamed our Saturday pizza and trivia team, "The Supremes."  However. unlike the Supremes and their 12 number one hits, the ladies and I were not as lucky.  I think we wound up in our usual 5th, 6th, or 7th place.  I'd like to give another shout out to Vic's Pizza in Duluth, GA.  The food is great, the trivia fun and they played two Supremes songs tonight.

Now even during this time of celebrating, pizza and trivia, one of the Hacks had to create some drama.  I will not mention a name, but hers is spelled G-I-N-A.  The drama was due to some people having titles, while others were expected to wash the dishes.  Therefore, the Hackberrry plus 3 royal court officially consists Queen Mother Anne, Queen Mother Peggy, Queen Cindy, Princess Diana, Dame Maureen, The Court Jester Call Him Miss Ross [HAYYYYY!!], and the one and only Marchioness De Gina.  May their reign be long and fair.  

In honor of Queen Mother Peggy, and her adventures in Cherokee, the Hackberry plus 3 Royal Court has adopted a new saying that will help us persevere when someone accidentally spills the garlic puffs in our direction, or the answer at trivia is "goat," or when we have step out into the negative 50 degrees night air …….. "I Had To Go The ATM!"  Truer words were never spoken!

Before I go, one more shout to my friend Reed, who helped me obtain the album, WE LOVE DIANA – THE ALMIGHTY REMIXES!  This album was not readily available in the US.  Thanks Reed!

I Had To Go To The ATM!