HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. Had to run by Target tonight after work.  You could almost feel those "bullseye" employees sweeping all the Halloween merchandise out the back door.  Two weeks ago, the store had devoted 5 or more cramped aisles to costumes, candy and "stuff."  Today, you were lucky to have three rows, all with minimal merchandise.  Target slow down!  You'll have your chance in two days!  Be patient!  Besides, I find it a little odd to be looking at Halloween candy while hearing Sinatra's Christmas album blasting from the kiosk behind me.  And news flash from the planet of DUH, Thanksgiving deserves more than half an aisle in the stationary section. 

Anyway, while I was meandering around the store, my eye caught sight of the above photographed "Barbie Glamour Camper."  Closer inspection of the box, revealed that Barbie was claiming this camper was the updated version of her classic 1970's "Country Camper."  Uh Barbie, don't make me get all ghetto on your plastic butt!  But that ain't like your "Country Camper," just a cheap imitation!

You see, I wanted the "Country Camper" during the 70s!  I loved the yellow/brown/green colors that were such a part of the 70's color scheme.  I loved the pop-out tent, I loved the rear view window, I loved the sliding piece of plastic used to get into the camper, etc.  As the box below states, "A Home For Barbie Whenever She Explores The Great Outdoors – The Swinginest Camper On Wheels!"  I LOVE THAT .. The Swinginest Camper!

Barbie, what the doritos [cool ranch] is a "glamour camper?"  There ain't nothing glamourous about camping, even if you ARE Barbie.  And why do Ken, Skipper and yourself look like Japanese anime?  This cheap imitation smells like something "Cindy," your half wit competition sold exclusively at Sears during the 70's, might be seen driving around town. 

Barbie, I WANTED the 70's camper, but since all things Barbie were out of the question growing up, I had settle for "Big Jim's Sports Camper" [below].  It might not have been the swinginest mobile home, but for a diva with a great deal of imagination ……..

Moral of the story?  If the classic ain't broke, don't update for 2009!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ……..  

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I hope everybody is having a GREAT weekend!  Just wanted to share what the DIVA has been up to!  HA!!  Forget all that sentimental hot mess!  I really wanted to show off the "DIVALISCIOUS LATOYA INSPIRED" hat that I bought at Target last night!!  This is the hat I plan on wearing to Lady Di's Halloween Par-tay next Saturday!

How was I able to obtain such a hat .. last night, Miss Cindi, Miss Gina, Miss Anne, Lady Di [the Hackberry Diva's missing Miss Peggy - we missed you!] and Call Him Miss Ross all met up for dinner.  After a great meal, but a very slow time getting our check, we headed to Target.  Now the ladies have known that I have been searching for just the "right" witches hat to wear on Halloween.  Well, Lady Di found it!  THANK YOU!!  It is perfect and reminds me of Latoya's at Micheal's funeral.  Now dear reader, I am not going as a witch .. but we'll see.

I do want to add a note of thanks to the Divas for ending my week out on a great and funny note!  I had some disappointments this past week, and I am so grateful for your friendships!

And speaking of friends, today I spent the afternoon with the founder of the I-tunes Mafia, Product Reed!  We traded music, talked endlessly about divas and our devotion to all things MAC!  Thanks to fantastic Mr. Reed for the XSCAPE, MARY MARY, MARIAH and KELLY PRICE!  Gotta have my divas!

I like to call this "Crouching Pug, Hidden Roscoe!"

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice …….. 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I know what you are asking yourself right now noble readers .. was THE DIVA really able to meet and take a picture of Tilda Swinton in costume as the White Witch from THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE ??

NO!!  That is yours truly, A LA DIVA, under two blankets and a sweat suit, trying to keep warm and assist the fabulous Hackberry Girls, Miss Gina and Miss Anne, during our condo community garage sale on Saturday.  At least one carport on every street had a sale going!  Now, noble readers, grab your tissues, cause this is where you learn of the sacrifices your DIVA had to make: 1.  Had to be up and going at 7:40 am on a SATURDAY MORNING!!  2.  The temperature dropped from the 50's to the 40's.  3.  About two hours into the sale, the rain started.  I KNOW I should be immediately designated for saint hood .. I'm just waiting for my Fed Ex letter from the Vatican!

Anyway, although the rain cut down on the amount of potential buyers, Miss Gina was still able to make $50+.  

Sooooo, I want to send a HUGE shout out to Miss Gina, for letting us use her carport, her stickers, and keeping us awake; to Miss Anne for the company and hot chocolate [even though she did buy the Batman doll I had my eye on ]; to Deal or No Deal Miss Diana for the brunch goodies and Miss Peggy for the company and kerosene lamp!

After the nail biting high drama of the garage sale [ie .. Miss Diana stating, "When you're ready to work with me, I'll be back!], I decided to visit a calmer environment .. Target on a cold Saturday afternoon, two weeks before Halloween!

30 minutes later I escaped from the madness with some household items and a costume for Mr. Man.  Below is a sneak peek:

He looks beyond thrilled!  Bring that attitude to the runway, my little super model!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice …….. 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. Ooooops!  A week since my last post.  I will have to make up for lost time in the next few days.  Anyway, although Mariah's latest work, MEMOIRS OF AN IMPERFECT ANGEL, has been out for over three weeks, I know that yall just had to know what THE DIVA thought of THE VOICE.

Honeybees and others who do not belong to Miss Carey's fan club, this disc took a while and repeated plays on the pod to grow on me.  I don't think it is as good as Miss Houston's I LOOK TO YOU, but then again, ol' Whitney had 7 plus years to put something on the shelves.  

Here are loves, dislikes, and what was THE VOICE thinking?

1.  Favorite songs are the "kiss off" cuts like "Betcha Gon' Know" [one of M's best breathy whisper deliveries], "Obsessed," "Standing O" [Had to grow on me, but now I LOVE], and "Up Out Of My Face."  These songs all have a harder beat, and were produced by The Dream ["Umbrella" "Me Against The Music"] and Tricky.

2.  Mariah's last two works, EMANCIPATION OF MIMI and E-MC2, both contained cuts and "introductions" by Jermaine Dupri.  In my opinion he is really missing from MEMOIRS.  Besides bringing some hard bass, Jermaine also brought humor to M's over the top sentimentality.  What happened Ms. Carey?  Janet catch you with her man?  Too bad Jermaine could not work the same Mariah magic ["It's Like That," "Shake It Off"] with Ms. Jackson's DISCIPLINE.

3.  M is known for covering hit ballads from other artists.  But "I Want To Know What Love Is?"  I can listen to the song right up until the choir enters.  Was this a last minute choice Mariah?

4.  Mariah Carey .. VOICE, you bet, .. SHOWMAN, working on it, LYRICIST .. oh boy!  

"This is for real, for real, for real; Oprah Winfrey, whole segment, for real …….."

"With a whole lotta; gel and acrylic can fix this; when I break I break; If we were two lego blocks …….."

Baby, stick with what you do best.  I know that you go on and on about writing your own songs, but M you are making Madonna look like Truman Capote.  Just write a line here and there, get your name on the publishing rights and leave the rest to the experts.  Like Britney.

5.  Along with the interludes and reprises [there are FOUR!], MEMOIRS has 17 songs.  M should have just released numbers 1 – 10.  Cuts 11 through 17 should have been called the "I love Nick Cannon, but will he help me breathe underwater, then constantly tell me I am angel who cries love like Duncan Hines cake mix" album.  These songs slowly become one LOOOOOOONG ballad [and you know THE DIVA, I can only take so many ballads].  Mariah, we get the point.  You love Nick, Nick helps you breathe, Nick is so wonderful, Nick will make you cakes with the Dincan Hines mix between his gigs as the host of America's Got Talent.

FINAL THOUGHT:  Mariah go back to the dancefloor [at least her singles are remixed], call up Jermaine, and keep being THE VOICE.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice …….. 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. Fabulous readers, Call Him Miss Ross has been enjoying an incredible vacation at the beach.  I would have blogged earlier, but was having trouble finding a working computer, logging on [thanks for the help DIVA OF PINK], and other interruptions.  Anyway, having a great time, but heading home tomorrow.

I've done a great deal of thinking about my home, my job, and even this blog.  During these "contemplative" times [cue soap opera music], two quotes have stayed at the forefront:

"That I realized that I just shouldn't give a poop.  It'll annoy me one second and then I won't care later." – DIVA OF PINK!

And for those times, when I feel completely out of touch with everyone around me:

"Gay humor is so sophisticated, a lot of times people who are not as sophisticated really don't get it.  They can easily get offended." – RuPAUL

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ……..