HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. this weekend started off with a bang, as the Hackberrys and I threw a surprise early birthday dinner for Miss Gina at Ichiban Japanese Steakhouse on Friday night.  Miss G was more than surprised – I made her walk through the parking lot and into the restaurant blind folded, while carrying a big balloon with the writing, "Happy Birthday Princess!"  The food was especially good.  I was loving me some of that ginger salad dressing and fried rice.  The food, the conversation, and the friendship from my beloved Hackberrys [which also included Lady Di and her magazine editor in training niece, Amy] was absolutely what I needed after a particularly interesting week.

For the past few months, I have been amazed at the freedom various individuals feel they have to say whatever comes in their mind about me.  At times these comments are made as indirect jokes, while some are very in my face.  I'm too sensitive, I'm too strange, I'm too weird, I'm too obsessive, I'm too loud, I'm too gay, why am I wearing this, why am I wearing that, …….. you get the point.  Oh, and let's not forget the growing army of public opinion who feel they have every right to make negative comments regarding my weight, exercise routine and apparently blob like appearance!  I actually had two different individuals call me overweight / fat to me face.

If you've ever read my blog, you know that CALL HIM MISS ROSS has the wit of a drag queen and can read like a New York Times best seller, however, most of the time, I just keep my mouth shut.  Why, I do not really know.  Maybe because I don't care, maybe because I would be fighting fire with fire, or maybe because I am truly amazed that someone could say something and not think how it might make another person feel.  You know, I can talk trash about reality tv show stars, pop stars and "celebrities,"  but I hope I am more human beneath the brightly lit, but still underground catwalk.  And if that makes me too sensitive, or too loud, or too fat or too gay .. then let me quote one of my new mantras, created by the fantastic queen, Erickatoure Aviance:

"Miss Thing green is not your color, so stop sipping on that hater ray; I know that I'm fierce, I know that I'm fly, so BITCH get out my way!" 

And while I will continue to live my life in a fully non-normal way, I look forward to many more parties, weekend get-aways, Friday night dinners and late night trips to Target with my true and accepting divas .. The Hackberrys and Lady Di!

Ohhhhhhhh, I can't forget ……..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS GINA! 

Love. Mr. Roscoe! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I finally got around to seeing Tom Ford's directorial debut, A SINGLE MAN, starring Colin Firth and Julianne Moore.  I have to be honest and say that I was a bit disappointed, maybe because I was expecting something MORE.  The storyline which involves a college professor who loses his partner of 16 years in a car accident and decides he can't continue living, felt like a darker and cheaper imitation of AMERICAN BEAUTY – which I LOVVVEEEEEEED!.  Now that I think of it, A SINGLE MAN also reminds me of Michael Douglas in FALLING DOWN – which I HAAAAAATED!  Basically, I was just left with a feeling of OKKKKKKKKK ……..

Now that I have been hyper-critical about the storyline, I do have to say the period detail and scenery were fantastic.  You can tell that Mr. Ford was using his talent as a designer.  The film is set in the early 60's, at the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis.  As I've stated before, I love the art, architecture, fashion and most importantly, hair of the sixties.  From 1960 to 1968 [before the hippies] is perfect.

And part of that perfection came from Julianne Moore.  Her portrayal of Charlotte is wonderful, but drag queen, it is that hair, makeup and evening gown!  Piled on hair, Cleopatra eyes and black and white dinner gown!  DAMN!

But onto other thoughts, or more importantly, is it just me and my feeling toward Trader Joes?

In case you don't know, Trader Joes is one of these all natural, nutritional, fight corporate America kind of grocery stores.  Like Whole Foods, they don't carry many national brands, unless it's all natural or made from soy or just plucked from the dirt.  In other words, over priced food that does not taste that good.

Anyway, I go to Joes because a relative really likes their "2 Buck Chuck" wine, which is a good bargain for a case.  Since this relative is sometimes difficult to buy for at Christmas and birthdays, I head over to this nature's candy emporium.  Automatically, three thoughts come to mind.

Number one, there is no magazine aisle in this store!  Where does one pick up the latest PEOPLE and COUNTRY WEEKLEY?  Number two, everyone walking around seems to be smiling some fake grin which confirms they know this food is overpriced and tastes like crap, and would much rather feed the family by going through the Taco Bell drive-thru tonight.  And number three, why does the wine area [they also sell more expense wines] take up the most space in the store?  Because the people who actually eat the food at Joes, have to become extremely drunk in order to make it through a meal!

As I always say, is it just me?

Take Me Higher! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I hate to admit this, but I was more than a little underwhelmed by GLEE's Madonna episode.  It just seemed that the premise of the episode, Madonna empowers people, was good, but the story went nowhere.

I got the feeling that the producers had paid A LOT of money for Mo-Mo's publishing rights, but did not know what do with their purchase.  Also, while the "Vogue" re-creation was good, the show did not use any of Madonna's other visuals except her various looks.  What about the videos for "Music" or "Frozen?"  How about her geisha inspired segment from the Drowned World Tour?

Besides the half baked story, am I the only one who is ready to focus the attention back on Quinn?  A little of Rachel and Finn go a LOOOONG way.  And speaking of Quinn, where is the girl living these days?  Before the season hiatus, Quinn's parents threw her out of the house and she went to live with Finn and his mother.  However, since Finn knows he is not the father of Quinn's baby, where is she staying?  How is she able to afford living expenses?

On a positive light. I am loving that hot mess Cherrio, Brittany, played to perfection by Heather Morris.  Heather is able to take a secondary character and make her stand out.  My favorite Brittany quote, "dolphins are just gay sharks!"

Showtime Synergy! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I have some crazy thoughts rambling around my brain, and wanted to know …….. Is It Just Me?

1.  Has any else noticed that Betty White's career has really taken off since the other Golden Girls have either passed away [Bea and Estelle] or are in recovery [Rue]?  Coincidence or is the country about to experience Betty-Mania?

2.  Did anyone actually buy, listen and enjoy Rihanna's album, RATED R??  I bought, I listened and I have to yet to enjoy.  And her record company keeps on putting out videos.  Rihanna girl, I loved "Take A Bow" and "Unfaithful, " what happened? 

3.  Does anyone actually believe Atlanta Housewife, Kim Zolciak, has gone sappho and will soon be joining her sisters on Wonder Woman's island?

4.  This past weekend, the news analysts and their experts were trying to explain why Tiki, the killer whale at Sea World, went bonkers and attacked his trainer.  Well, it turns out that Tiki had attacked previous trainers.  HELLO!  Tiki ain't happy!  He knows he's living in cramped quarters, he knows that the kids and Mariah love the dolphins move than him, and he really knows he's only there for stud.  I'd have a bad day as well.  It is time to let Tiki go.

5.  The news media continues to state that the nation is experiencing a recession.  However, why I am constantly bombarded with weight loss / exercise machine commercials?  Or worse yet, Valerie Bertinelli?  One thing about diet food .. it ain't cheap!

6.  Has anyone noticed that Chile's earthquake seems to be receiving a whole lot less attention that Haiti's?  Do you think the nation is experiencing tragedy overload and needs to focus on Kate Gosselin joining Dancing With The Stars?  Amazing what a set of hair extensions can accomplish!

7.  I know that I will be in the minority for this opinion, but …….. why couldn't those celebrities who were so passionate about Haiti, focus on the problems at home?  How about funding needy schools or paying the bills for a family that is about to go homeless?  I just would like to see these "stars" help those in their own backyard first.

Showtime Synergy! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I finally finished the GLEE DVD set, "Season One – The Road To Sectionals!"  I have to say that I honestly love this show even more than a few weeks ago.  I have bought both the soundtracks, as well as the mash ups, etc that you can only obtain through i-tunes.  I have asked my friends, co-workers and complete strangers if they watch the show.  Almost 95% state "NO."  How is this possible??  This show was a big hit, it's returning from hiatus on 4/13/2010!!  Anybody up for a GLEE viewing par-tay??  And to answer the inevitable question that I get asked after my GLEE inquiry .. NO, I do not watch IDOL!

And yes, I am driving everyone crazy with my new obsession!

Five random things I love about this show:

1.  Kristin Chenoweth as the drop out April Rhodes.  The producers have to bring this woman back.

2.  Lea Michele's [aka Rachel Berry] incredible voice.  Rachel's character gets on my last nerve, but that voice ……..!

3.  Matthew Morrison, Matthew Morrison!  What can this man not do?  Sing – Check!  Dance [incredibly] – Check!  Act – Check!

4.  The show celebrates real singers.  Creator Ryan Murphy stated that he wanted to cast unknowns who could really sing.

5.  Jane Lynch aka Sue Sylvester!

 Ok …….. Even I will admit that discussing J-Lo's departure from Sony is pretty unimportant when that woman was eaten by the whale today and the Olympics are still taking place, but HAYYYYY, I had to comment.  In case you did not know, J-Lo is leaving Sony, where she has been since 1999, when her debut album, ON THE 6, came out.  Since that time, Jenny from the block has had some major hits, but lately ……. "Louboutins" ring a bell with anyone?  By the way, what was that song really about?  She was mad at her boyfriend, so she bought a new pair shoes and hit the club??  She was the fool.  It takes some time to break in a new pair of pumps [not that I KNOW].  The guy will have flown the coop, leaving her with sore feet.

But I digress.  Jenny stated she had fulfilled her contract and signed to new label.  Of course she did not state which label was so lucky to obtain her services. 

I'm sure my readers and Mariah "The Voice" Carey will lose a few hours of sleep tonight wondering what will happen to J-Lo's career.  Will her supposedly upcoming album, LOVE?, ever see the light of day?

Showtime Synergy! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. Finally some warmer weather in Atlanta!  But enough on that boring subject, let's talk Chris Rock's new "documentary," GOOD HAIR, which just came out on DVD.  You know that I love me some women's hair, especially big hair …….. as they say in Texas, the higher the hair, the closer to GOD.  And you know by now that I love me some black divas.  So you have to know that I really enjoyed Chris' film.

Basically Chris explores / explains the origins and uses of hair relaxer and weaves, set against the backdrop of the 2007 Bronner Brothers International Hair Show and the "Hair Battle Royale!"  Maybe due to timing or coincidence, the 2010 hair show is happening this weekend, 2/20-2/23, in Atlanta.  You know that I have to attend this fabulous production next year!

What I found interesting / fascinating:

1.  In addition to the Bronner Brothers, one of the "Hair Battle Royale" contestants, was Derek J, who was helping Real Housewife, Kim Zolciak, with her wig line.

2.  How much the Korean community is involved with the products, shops and of course money that surrounds the black hair industry.  How did this happen?

3.  The realization that a really good weave could cost $1000 or more, and that is just for the actual "weaving," not the hair.  Also, that a weave can take 5, 6, 7 hours or more to create.  But I had a question …….. Why are black women so nervous about getting their weaves wet?  Isn't that hair sewn into your regular hair?

As RuPaul stated on his single, "Back To My Roots," …….. "Hair Weaves?  CALL HER MISS ROSS!"

OK …….. I know that I may be in the minority regarding this opinion, but is anyone else more than a little over perky Valerie Bertinelli and her Jenny Craig ads?  For about 2 seconds, we had to deal with Kirstie Alley before she rediscovered the Shoney's breakfast bar, but Valerie just will not go away.  I'm shopping in Target, minding my own business, and there's Valerie's book [30% off], and her exercise DVD, and her endless commercials running on the store's tv displays.  Val, you lost some weight.  You didn't find a cure for baldness!  

And now miss former teen star whose been regulated to Lifetime movies, is sharing the spotlight with Jason Alexander and his "Jenny For Men" pitch.  Does anyone understand this growing phenom .. Are you a washed up star, who carrying some weight around the middle?  Lose a few pounds, become a diet spokesperson, go on Oprah [like she should talk] and whammo, you'll be on the cover of PEOPLE wearing a bikini!

Showtime Synergy! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. I'm a little ticked at RuPaul and his Drag Race for "sashaying away" my favorite contestant, Mystique Summers Madison, last night.  A week ago, Ru sent Atlanta legend, Nicole Paige Brooks, home and now one of the few Season 2 queens with any individuality was showed the door.

I was talking to one of my co-workers about the current Drag Race contestants, and we both agree that these ladies [with the exception of Nicole, Pandora and Mystique] are just average performers.  Few could go up against Bebe and Victoria "Porkchop" Parker from Season One.  Many of these Season 2 girls openly state that they do not dance.  OKKKKKKKKK [as the The Pink Diva claims I always say with a "tone"].  What exactly do you do?  Work the runway while trying to lypsink Brit-Brits latest number?  Boring!  Girls!  You gotta perform or you ain't getting my dollar.

And speaking of the incredible Ms. Parker [who is hilarious in the movie, PAGEANT], does Ru's show have a problem with the big girls?  Both Victoria and Mystique were eliminated early, while comments [aka snide remarks] were made about their weight by the judges and other contestants.

Mystique, I'm going to miss you!  Represent the big girls!

Despite Mystique's leaving, I thought Ru's "Disco-Crisco" commercial was interesting.  Especially, after he made the two teams exchange scripts shortly before filming.

OK …….. I know that Valentines Day has come and gone [thank goodness], but I wanted to post episode #18 of Tired Old Queen At The Movies, starring Steve Hayes.  His movie for Valentines is A PLACE IN THE SUN, which I am embarrassed to admit that I have not seen.  Check out Steve's comments regarding Liz's loyalty to Monty!

Showtime Synergy! 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. It has been a busy week for the DIVA, but I wanted to share some thoughts for my loyal and always fashionable readers:

1.  If I have not mentioned this before, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, and LOVE some more THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA!  LOVE this show!!  And although I know there are some who consider it trash .. well like Mom #2, Miss Anne of Hackberry, I LOVE this trash!  My favorite housewife is Kandi Burrus.  The girl actually has several careers, is a prolific songwriter, and has won a Grammy!

Due to my LOVE for Miss Kandi, I am going through the XSCAPE collection [Thanks Reed!], as well as her solo work.  Which brings me to Kandi's latest release, the ep, FLY ABOVE.  Readers, this is a GREAT [although small - only 5 songs] collection.  My favorite songs include "Trade Him In" and "Must Be Good."

2.  You have to acknowledge the truth .. On Friday, one of my work friends noticed that all of my cds were by black artists, mainly divas [Brandy, Whitney, Beyonce, Diddy, Deborah Cox, etc].  He said, "Paul, just admit it.  You're a black boy wrapped in a white boy's body!"  "I said, you got that right.  Only I'm a black DIVA wrapped in a white boy's body!" 

3.  Oh LOOK!  My favorite beauty queen was back in the news this week!  Carrie!  I've missed you.  In case my readers are not aware, the directors of the Miss California pageant [who were in a counter suit against Carrie] received a rather interesting video tape this week.  Appears that the former Miss CA was caught in a rather revealing sex tape.  Carrie, Carrie, Carrie, I though you knew better.  Next time, hire someone who understands lighting for video tape.

4.  Question:  Can the board handle the DIVA and the Divine?  After a nail biting, weave pulling, name calling, and captured all on video tape [Carrie can be found in the background], my condo association held the board elections yesterday.  Although Lady Di later remarked that she thought my wearing overalls to the election [HAYYYYY they are comfortable], looked less than inspiring, both the Divine Miss Gina and myself were elected to the board!!  Can you believe it?  One step toward Roscoe being named First Pug!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall Of Justice …….. 

HAYYYYY!!  OK …….. Two points of irony that I would like to share with you today, gentle readers:

1.  As some of you are experiencing, it has been rain, rain and more rain throughout most of middle and north Georgia.  Homes have been flooded, bridges are falling apart, and many businesses and schools have closed or let people leave early.  In addition to the potential property damage, most of my neighbors and co-workers are extremely tired of the rain.  Rain, rain go away ……..

PEOPLE!! [House of Dereon:  Where the catwalk meets the sidewalk!  Tina Knowles]

Are you not the same group that went on and on and on the last few summers about the lack of rain?  Lake Lanier was supposedly drying up, Six Flags was recycling water, and as I learned from Oprah last week, Whitney actually left Bobby and Atlanta in 2006!  This is rain you wanted, the rain you begged for and most importantly, THE RAIN THAT SONNY PRAYED FOR!!

Don't you remember, Sonny out there at the state capital praying for rain?  You asked GOD for rain, now don't complain!  Always remember to really think about your requests to GOD.

2.  I have a friend who works for one of Atlanta's local magazines.  She stated that the "living" section is constantly updating their restaurant listing guide, due to the number of establishments that have closed in the past few years.  Either due to funds, lack of interest or even bad timing, many restaurants are having trouble keeping their doors open 6 months to a year.

RESTAURANT OWNERS AND WAIT STAFF!!  [House of Dereon:  Where the catwalk meets the sidewalk!  Tina Knowles]

When possible customers have limited funds, but also several choices, it is not a good idea to provide poor service.  I went to a restaurant last night, where I have never experienced "great service."  In the past, I have had to ask if my table even had a waiter.  However, my dining companions enjoy the establishment and the food is quite good.  Until last night ……. cold soup that was returned to the kitchen twice; several requests for drink refills before anything happened; two of the three people received their meals while the third order was not even given to the kitchen; our original waiter approached the table once to say, "one minute," while his replacement took our order and disappeared, and finally a third waiter came to the table [maybe we were supposed to meet the entire staff] ……..

When we finally asked for a manager, he came out with this whole, "I'm soooooooo sorry" number.  Sorry does not cut it [although he excused the entire bill].  The restaurant was half full, with wait staff standing around.

In this economy …….. a little too ironic, yeah I really do think!

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice …….. 

HAYYYYY!!  OK ……. After wrestling with a horrible cough and congestion that made me feel like Loretta Lynn's father in COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER, I finally dropped into one of those "Doc-In-A-Box" at my local grocery store.  Turns out that I have bronchitis!  No wonder I felt like crap over the weekend, and DID NOT GO TO THE PET SHOP BOYS CONCERT [therefore, no screaming review].  So, since I have thrown down over $185 on antibiotics, I hope to be feeling better soon!

But onto far more pressing matters, namely the 2009 VMA's and Madonna, MJ, Pink, and Lady Ga Ga .. because I could less about Kanye and Taylor [although you know that Beyonce can about occupy a room at the Vatican with how much people are loving her today]:

MADONNA, MADONNA, MADONNA ……… What was with that speech, what was with that outfit and most importantly, fire whoever touched your hair!  While I could not take my eyes off of Mo's hair which made her look bloated, I could not believe her speech!  "I failed Micheal, we all failed Micheal.  Micheal's childhood.  Micheal was the greatest, blah, blah."  What is going with this MJ revisionist history?

What really happened?  MJ and Madonna went on one date, as well as attended the 1991 Oscars together.  He was promoting DANGEROUS [and trying to "straighten his image"], and she was promoting TRUTH OR DARE.  After the Oscars, he sat with Miss Ross, she with Warren Beatty.  She tried to get her background dancers to change Micheal's look, he wanted her to duet on DANGEROUS.  End result?  He called her a heifer, she referred to him as a space alien drag queen.  18 years later and she's MJ's BFF.

And before I leave the subject of MJ, when did MTV suddenly become so Micheal friendly?  This is the same station that repeatedly made fun of his onstage kiss with Lisa Marie!  This is the same station that led MJ to believe that he was receiving some type of "icon" award, when Britney Spears was only calling him onstage so the audience could sing Happy Birthday!  That poor alien drag queen gave a 15 minute thank you speech about his career! 

PINK, PINK, PINK …….. You sang "Sober."  You sang live while performing on a trapeze.  Wow.

LADY GAGA, LADY GAGA, LADY GAGA …….. I just do not know what to think of you.  If you've read my blog in the past year, you know that I have not been all "GAGA."  It just seemed that the House of GAGA was trying a little too hard.  But after seeing her theatrical and LIVE [hear that Janet and NitWit Brit, the girl sang LIVE .. and proved she could really sing] performance, I kept thinking that miss hot mess is either the next Grace Jones or Lady Kier Kirby.  I'm not totally sold on GAGA, but I might walk through the door.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice ……..